Sunday, April 12, 2015

Spiraling Down

       There are times that I can't seem to move beyond it.  I still don't write about it often, but it's been a year and a half.  It's not like it used to be (gut wrenching badness), but there are those times.... I can't predict what will bring it on.  Holidays, songs, seeing your daughter, etc, those I know are true triggers.  But then, out of the blue, I feel like I am lying flat on my back, totally wiped out.  I miss you, Girl.  I still can't imagine "forever" without you.  Your godson just turned 15.  I miss you, for him.  Your daughter just turned 9.  I miss you,  for her.  I am going through the motions of life. I miss you,  for me.  It's not the past that I dwell on.  It's the future.  It's the future you don't have.  The one I don't we don't get to share with you.  I've thought about you alot these last few weeks.  You seem to always be on my mind.  I've wanted to call you, laugh with you, just "catch up".  It's kind of bizarre.  You'd think it would be "better", but deep down, it's not.  Just putting it out there, because.... I have to put it somewhere...

I still miss you, my friend.