Saturday, June 24, 2017

A "Quick" Catch Up

Huh?  It's been that long?  April was the last time I posted... to be honest I'm not surprised.  The struggle has been real over here, but I'm hoping things are going to start looking up.  Let's do a quick catch up...

The end of the school year is ALWAYS crazy and this year didn't disappoint on that front.  Glad to be away from work for a little while.  Things need to settle down there...sometimes teacher drama is WAY WORSE than kid drama.  Report cards were sent home wrong (just loving technology right now!), teachers were crazy, and I spent way too much time putting out fires, going to meetings, and on the phone with my boss.  On the plus side... I had a GREAT class this year and I am sad to see them move on to first grade.  I am hoping that the summer is going to provide a much needed break and that I am going to find some time to recharge!

So much time has passed, and yet so little, since my husband left.  I'm not going to lie, the months have been exhausting.  This week, we finally went to court to officially call it quits.  We sat side by side, making small talk; chatting about the kids and the struggles of getting our lives untangled.  Once our case was heard, we walked out to the parking lot together and simply got into our separate cars and drove away.  I guess that's it.  It's hard to find the words to say how I'm feeling.  I still don't know how we could have lost what we had, how it meant so little and wasn't worth fighting for.  Yesterday, I came across a Mother's Day card he had given me after our daughter was born.  His words haunt me and I could cry thinking about them.  His love for me, our family, our future...  It's a stark contrast to the letter I found from his mistress, the pictures he puts up on facebook, and where we are now.  This isn't where I'd ever thought we'd be, but it's time to start looking ahead and stop dwelling in the past.  I blocked him today on facebook.  I don't want to see into his life anymore.  It hurts and it's senseless since I'm only hurting myself.  So enough wallowing...

What's next?
Well, it's time to get serious about healthy eating and living.  I'm going to climb back on the weight loss wagon, yet again.  It's time.  I have consoled myself with food and drink for way too many months now.  Today, I took the first steps (literally!).  I walked 3 miles and made good choices for all three meals of the day.  Day 1... many more to go!

I guess I'm going to bite the bullet and get serious about working on this house.  Since this is the last summer we will be here (I'm planning to put it on the market next spring), I'd like to get as much done as possible while I have the time.  I have a contractor coming next month to do a couple of the big projects.... We'll see how much gets done!  I need a game plan, but it makes me tired just thinking about it!
That's about all for now.  Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!!