Wednesday, December 30, 2015

A Whine Fest

So, you know how you feel when you have to do something significant in your life and you just don't want to?  That's where I am right now.  If you know anything about National Board Certification for teachers, you realize it's a pretty big deal (or it can be, depending on how you are compensated for having it).  I've been board certified for almost ten years and it has been worth it.  (Although, a friend who went through the initial certification with me has reminded me I did say back then that I would NEVER do it again). That certification is going to expire and it is time for me to renew.  I can do it this year OR I can do it next year.  Doing it this year gives me the opportunity to retry next year if I don't succeed the first time around.  That, and it could possibly be off my plate after this year and I can stop obsessing about it.

Let me say... It's torture.  I am not having a good time.  I am dragging my feet and whining regularly to anyone who will listen (thank you for listening, if you have made it this far in to this post).  I just have to put it out there... I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.  It's too hard.  I don't have the time.  I haven't done anything worth talking about in the last eight years since my initial certification.  I don't want to think about my professional practices and how I have grown and developed as a teacher.  I hate being videoed; I don't want to do that either.  It's too much work.  I'm not smart enough.  Blah, blah, blah.  I'm basically being a big baby.  

It's coming down to the final decision; the deadline for the application payment is looming.  It IS hard work and a big time commitment.  Being a list maker, I've weighed the options... the pros (long term) outweigh the cons (short term).  I've gone back and forth with the decision... after all I do still have a year.  BUT, is it going to be any less sucky next year?  Am I going to be in a better place?  More motivated?  Less stressed?  Probably not.  I've even promised myself this will be the last time (even though I will still be teaching when the renewed certification expires).  I need to find the motivation to Just. Do. It.         

I've talked myself all around the issue and I guess the bottom line is this...

 Thanks for listening.  I just needed to say all that "out loud". 

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

And Again.

Here we go again.  For the past couple months I have been watching the weight creep back on.  I have toyed with the idea of starting Weight Watchers again.  But, ugh.  Really? Again?  Get your act together, girl.  I have the app to track the points (haven't used it).  I know what to do (not a big secret...let's not eat and drink everything in sight, Every. Single. Day.)  I think my biggest frustration with myself is... If I actually do the program?  IT WORKS and yet, still no.  Until yesterday.  I decided I would hop back in the saddle again.  It's time.  So, y'all know what happened ....

I went back to WW last night.  (The program changed again, did you know that??)  I actually committed myself to 3 months.  I am *hoping* it will motivate me to go to the meetings.  I'd like to get back into the clothes I bought at this time last year.  25 pounds to lose.  I apparently have had a good time for myself.

And so it begins.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Thinking of You

Ah, I miss you.  Some of those feels are just as raw as they were two years ago.  Just over two years.  That's how long this huge hole has been present in my life.  This holiday season has certainly had its ups and downs.  When does it get easier?  I don't have an answer.  But I sure wish I knew.

Happy Birthday, my beautiful friend.  Still missing you.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Celebrating the Season

Linking up with Love Made My Home
Linking up with Love Made My Home
 ONE week??  How can that be?  I'm ready.  Just kidding, no I'm not.  These past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  Work is crazy... After Thanksgiving?  When that first tree goes up?  Yup, it's all over in kindergarten.  Ready or not, the celebration begins!  So, what have I been doing to celebrate the season... Let's see....

1)  I went to see Straight No Chaser.... I LOVED IT!!  If you haven't had the opportunity to check these guys out, you must!  What a great show.  I am a fool for a cappella and this show was so worth the time and money (7:30 show on a Tuesday night?  A school night?  Yikes, living on the edge!).  My favorite songs?  The 12 Days of Christmas.  Makes me smile Every. Single. Time.  And, Oh Holy Night?  Just beautiful. 
Love them!
Picture/Link brings you to 12 Days of Christmas... You're Welcome :)
2)  This year we bought a new tree.  It's smaller than any tree we've had in the past.  We've gone from a 9 foot tree down to a 6 and half foot tree.  The bigger tree was just getting to be too much.  With downsizing, there came a dilemma.  There was just no way to put all the ornaments that we have on a smaller tree.  Sorting through the ornaments to only use those most meaningful was somewhat bittersweet.  So many good memories.
Sentimental.  My bff is no longer with us.
Silly.  Makes me giggle.
From my childhood.  It will always remind me of "home".
3)  Paying it forward... Last year I started what I hope to be an annual tradition.  I am a little late posting this wrap up, but I was a little late starting it too.  November is considered a month to be thankful.  I have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  Over the last four weeks, I have donated to four charities that support goals that I believe wholeheartedly in.  It is my way of being thankful for what I have and hopefully helping someone else out during a time of year that is typically challenging for some both financially and emotionally. 

4)  I love the holiday glitz and glitter.  This is a picture of a house in my neighborhood.  The tree has been dubbed "The Tree to See".  I just love it.  It makes me smile :) 
That house is not small!  The 40' tree just dwarfs it in all its glory!
 5)  What would a post be without some kind of yummy treat?  This holiday season would certainly not be complete without cookies.  I often joke that I am "keeper of the flame" in my family.  Tradition is important; THINGS can be important when they evoke special memories.  Peanut butter and jelly cookies (my husband's declared favorite), peanut butter blossoms, spritz cookies, and Russian tea cakes (or snowballs, as they are also known as) are all an anticipated part of the festivities.  As of right now, I am the only one in my generation who makes the spritz cookies (which, in my opinion are the easiest!)  I hope that changes eventually; I'd like to be able to pass the recipe (and cookie press) on someday!  Anywho, here is my tribute to cookies....
Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies
Peanut Butter Blossoms

Yummy Snowballs
Hope everyone is finding a little bit of sanity with all the hustle and bustle the holidays bring!