Saturday, December 31, 2016

Goodbye (and Good Riddance) 2016

Here it is, the last day of 2016.  I won't lie, this year has been a suckfest.  It's been so long since I posted anything because I've started and stopped so many times, never really knowing what to say.  I still don't know what to say.  I couldn't bring myself to create a blog-land illusion of sunshine and light and yet, I didn't want to turn this space into a daily downward spiral of misery.  So, I'm taking the plunge... I need start moving past what has happened this year.  I need some semblance of a "new normal" that is positive, peaceful, and balanced.  Things are still unfolding and I'm sure there will be many more highs and lows, but I'm putting this out there with the anticipation it will break the writer's block I have imposed upon myself.     

The good... I am going to be okay.  I have great kids, a great family, and great friends.  While the future is a little uncertain right now, I AM going to be fine.  While the future isn't what I envisioned, I am going to make the best of it.  Moving forward, accomplishing goals, and doing what's best for me and my kids are things on the bucket list for 2017.

The bad... My husband and I have been together for 30 years.  While things have been a little sketchy for a while now, I had hoped, in my heart of hearts, that we could work our way back to each other.  Apparently, that is not going to happen.  He has found his soulmate and they are now very happy together.  No discretion, no apology, he has just walked away without looking back.  How nice for him.  How nice for them.  Ouch.

The ugly... I am left holding the bag with what's left of our combined lives in it.  This house?  Ugh.  He gave up on our life together long ago.  There are things needing to be done: decisions to be made, projects to be finished, things to be gone through, and financial matters to tend to.  I have often "joked" that I was unsure of whether to be insulted or relieved that he had such low standards.  My yard looks like an episode of Sanford and Sons.  The shed?  Good Lord.  I have no words.  My house is full of unfinished projects that need to be addressed.  I have been cleaning and repairing for the past four months, and yet I haven't even scratched the surface.  Baby steps.  All the decisions can be overwhelming, but it will all get done.  Or it won't.  Either way, the house will be sold within the next year and a half (hopefully hanging on until Bubba graduates from high school).

So, there it is.  Lots of changes and more to come.  That "new normal"?  Still a work in progress, but I will get there.  I am determined.