Merry Christmas?

It's late.  My family has gone to bed and I sit here, reflecting on the day, the year, and all that has come to pass.  It has been a tough couple of months.  The days ahead are going to bring it all back.  I knew that.  I know this.  The weekends are always the hardest.  The frantic pace of day to day life eases and there are times allowed for thoughts and feeling to grow like weeds through a crack.

I love my family but we are re-hashers.  We talk, a lot.  We go over things again and again as a way to make sense, to understand, to bring things into the light from other perspectives.  That being said, I had anticipated being with family, talking about the pain, giving voice to what remains unsaid during day to day life, was going to be another hurdle, another challenge, a day of truly just going through the motions to come out on the other side..hopefully still standing.  Well, I am here.  I survived. 

Tomorrow will be another day filled with reminders of what has been lost.  Hopefully, it will also bring a renewed hope that we will get through this together.  Life is for the living.


Merry Christmas, my friend.  I love you.