New Beginnings...

Happy New Year, Everyone!  It seems like New Year's Eve was so lonnnng ago.... and Christmas?  Just a memory.  It's been a crazy start to this year because... well, life.  I'm hooking up with Amy, over at Love Made My Home for my five on Friday.  This just about sums up life right now...

1.  Stressed:  I have *committed* to a Huge project regarding work.  I am taking the plunge and doing National Board certification (Theoretically.  I need to complete the application process).  I'm also being evaluated in a few weeks, so I am up to my eyeballs in paperwork.  Between those two major things and the added attraction of committee work, I may not be back here until April. *sigh*

 2.  Excited:  Downton Abbey is back!!  Yay!  It's bittersweet because it's the last season, but I was so glad to curl up with a nice mug of tea to watch the season premier on Sunday night.  It was like seeing old friends again.  Right now, Downton is literally the only show I watch.  I love having a scheduled "break" the night before I go back to work.  It's such a nice way to end the weekend :)

3.  Reflective:  I was checking out my 50 By 50 list to see if I even came CLOSE to the 15 things done resolution I made last year. Nope.  I guess that means I'm going to have try harder this year.  I'm taking it as a sign that I wasn't paying enough attention to the things I feel are important.  Some of those things are career goals (Not Many!), some are projects that have been kicking around for years and just need to be done, but most are things I WANT to do and I should be prioritizing.  Life should be about more than working.

4.  Interested:  In response to being reflective and stressed, I actually broadened my horizons a little this week.  My friend and I signed up for a Yoga class.  I really liked it... for a couple reasons.  It was great to live in the moment for an hour and fifteen minutes.  Just having to focus on one thing, without distraction or even the possibility of a distraction, for that amount of time was actually soothing.  It's hard for me to tune out life.  There is ALWAYS so much to do.  Even when I am working on something that should get done, my mind is spinning off, rolling down other paths to think about what I will do next.  It was great to just "be".  Secondly, it was challenging!  I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, physically fit.  I'm not gonna lie... I was hurting for a few days after.  There are apparently MANY muscles in my body that have not been utilized in a long time.  I loved feeling like I accomplished something positive.  I didn't expect to feel like I had "worked out".  We liked it so much, we are going again next week! :)

5.  Determined: This Monday was my first weekly weigh in at Weight Watchers.  UP 1.6?? Really?!  I was (mostly) good.  New Year's and an additional Christmas Celebration with a friend did me in (I think!).  I am slightly mentally ill when it comes to dieting.  When I am in the mode, I am a tad bit obsessive.  It takes over my life.  Did I stay within my points?  Did I get my steps in?  How can I do better tomorrow?  Can I exercise? Can I excersise more?  I typically weigh in Every. Single. Day.  I just can't; I don't have all that in me right now.  So, this time I am trying to convince myself that this is a lifestyle change.  While I am aiming for weight loss, I'd like to be able to take the tools I know work for me and make them a part of a routine that can sustain itself beyond the scale.  Does that make sense?  Monday is another weigh in day... wish me luck!

 Have a wonderful weekend...

A Whine Fest

So, you know how you feel when you have to do something significant in your life and you just don't want to?  That's where I am right now.  If you know anything about National Board Certification for teachers, you realize it's a pretty big deal (or it can be, depending on how you are compensated for having it).  I've been board certified for almost ten years and it has been worth it.  (Although, a friend who went through the initial certification with me has reminded me I did say back then that I would NEVER do it again). That certification is going to expire and it is time for me to renew.  I can do it this year OR I can do it next year.  Doing it this year gives me the opportunity to retry next year if I don't succeed the first time around.  That, and it could possibly be off my plate after this year and I can stop obsessing about it.

Let me say... It's torture.  I am not having a good time.  I am dragging my feet and whining regularly to anyone who will listen (thank you for listening, if you have made it this far in to this post).  I just have to put it out there... I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.  It's too hard.  I don't have the time.  I haven't done anything worth talking about in the last eight years since my initial certification.  I don't want to think about my professional practices and how I have grown and developed as a teacher.  I hate being videoed; I don't want to do that either.  It's too much work.  I'm not smart enough.  Blah, blah, blah.  I'm basically being a big baby.  

It's coming down to the final decision; the deadline for the application payment is looming.  It IS hard work and a big time commitment.  Being a list maker, I've weighed the options... the pros (long term) outweigh the cons (short term).  I've gone back and forth with the decision... after all I do still have a year.  BUT, is it going to be any less sucky next year?  Am I going to be in a better place?  More motivated?  Less stressed?  Probably not.  I've even promised myself this will be the last time (even though I will still be teaching when the renewed certification expires).  I need to find the motivation to Just. Do. It.         

I've talked myself all around the issue and I guess the bottom line is this...

 Thanks for listening.  I just needed to say all that "out loud". 

And Again.

Here we go again.  For the past couple months I have been watching the weight creep back on.  I have toyed with the idea of starting Weight Watchers again.  But, ugh.  Really? Again?  Get your act together, girl.  I have the app to track the points (haven't used it).  I know what to do (not a big secret...let's not eat and drink everything in sight, Every. Single. Day.)  I think my biggest frustration with myself is... If I actually do the program?  IT WORKS and yet, still no.  Until yesterday.  I decided I would hop back in the saddle again.  It's time.  So, y'all know what happened ....

I went back to WW last night.  (The program changed again, did you know that??)  I actually committed myself to 3 months.  I am *hoping* it will motivate me to go to the meetings.  I'd like to get back into the clothes I bought at this time last year.  25 pounds to lose.  I apparently have had a good time for myself.

And so it begins.

Thinking of You

Ah, I miss you.  Some of those feels are just as raw as they were two years ago.  Just over two years.  That's how long this huge hole has been present in my life.  This holiday season has certainly had its ups and downs.  When does it get easier?  I don't have an answer.  But I sure wish I knew.

Happy Birthday, my beautiful friend.  Still missing you.

Celebrating the Season

Linking up with Love Made My Home

 ONE week??  How can that be?  I'm ready.  Just kidding, no I'm not.  These past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  Work is crazy... After Thanksgiving?  When that first tree goes up?  Yup, it's all over in kindergarten.  Ready or not, the celebration begins!  So, what have I been doing to celebrate the season... Let's see....

1)  I went to see Straight No Chaser.... I LOVED IT!!  If you haven't had the opportunity to check these guys out, you must!  What a great show.  I am a fool for a cappella and this show was so worth the time and money (7:30 show on a Tuesday night?  A school night?  Yikes, living on the edge!).  My favorite songs?  The 12 Days of Christmas.  Makes me smile Every. Single. Time.  And, Oh Holy Night?  Just beautiful. 

Picture/Link brings you to 12 Days of Christmas... You're Welcome :)

2)  This year we bought a new tree.  It's smaller than any tree we've had in the past.  We've gone from a 9 foot tree down to a 6 and half foot tree.  The bigger tree was just getting to be too much.  With downsizing, there came a dilemma.  There was just no way to put all the ornaments that we have on a smaller tree.  Sorting through the ornaments to only use those most meaningful was somewhat bittersweet.  So many good memories.

Sentimental.  My bff is no longer with us.

Silly.  Makes me giggle.

From my childhood.  It will always remind me of "home".

3)  Paying it forward... Last year I started what I hope to be an annual tradition.  I am a little late posting this wrap up, but I was a little late starting it too.  November is considered a month to be thankful.  I have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  Over the last four weeks, I have donated to four charities that support goals that I believe wholeheartedly in.  It is my way of being thankful for what I have and hopefully helping someone else out during a time of year that is typically challenging for some both financially and emotionally. 

4)  I love the holiday glitz and glitter.  This is a picture of a house in my neighborhood.  The tree has been dubbed "The Tree to See".  I just love it.  It makes me smile :) 

That house is not small!  The 40' tree just dwarfs it in all its glory!

 5)  What would a post be without some kind of yummy treat?  This holiday season would certainly not be complete without cookies.  I often joke that I am "keeper of the flame" in my family.  Tradition is important; THINGS can be important when they evoke special memories.  Peanut butter and jelly cookies (my husband's declared favorite), peanut butter blossoms, spritz cookies, and Russian tea cakes (or snowballs, as they are also known as) are all an anticipated part of the festivities.  As of right now, I am the only one in my generation who makes the spritz cookies (which, in my opinion are the easiest!)  I hope that changes eventually; I'd like to be able to pass the recipe (and cookie press) on someday!  Anywho, here is my tribute to cookies....

Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies

Peanut Butter Blossoms

Spritz

Yummy Snowballs

Hope everyone is finding a little bit of sanity with all the hustle and bustle the holidays bring! 

A Little of This and That...

Yay!  It's Friday!!  I could have skipped out of work today, for the sheer joy of it!  I am now home, relaxing, with a nice glass of pumpkin spice liquor.  The day has been drizzly and gray but I am so glad to be looking forward to two days of nothingness. (It doesn't mean I am going to do nothing, but it does mean I have a choice about WHAT I am going to do.  That just makes me happy inside.)  Without further ado... my Five Things Friday is just a compilation of my week...

1.  Last weekend, when I was out and about with a friend and I saw this adorable sight...

Back in the day, in another life that is far away, I would have TOTALLY rocked this.  My daughter says it's ridiculous.  I disagree.  If I wasn't sending all my money to college to pay for her education, I would consider getting those "ridiculous" eyelashes for my car, because I'm THAT mom.  

2.  If you've popped by my blog, even one time, you may have noticed that I like to eat (and drink).  This amazing pie was made by my own Bubba :)  He is in the vocational/culinary program at his high school and he brought this home for me us.  The boy has skills.

Apple pie with a little vanilla ice cream on the side?  Yum!

3. I am really not that girl.... You know, the one who has the Christmas cards signed, stamped and ready to mail weeks before the big day?  But this year... I have to confess, I have started shopping... 

"before" Halloween.

It wasn't much before Halloween, it was technically Halloween Day (Halloween isn't until night, right?)  My friend talked me into it and she wants to go AGAIN, tomorrow.  I just don't know if I can.  I like denial.  It's a great place to be.  I'm not ready. 

4.  My daughter suggested a new show that she is addicted to.  Have you heard of it?

I'm watching.  I'm not sure how much I love it, but it's enough to keep me entertained.  If you've seen it, I'd love to hear what you think.

5. Lastly... I'd love to do better in this area of my life.  There just seems to be too many of "them" and not enough of me.  My husband and son just don't care, at all.  They leave their stuff everywhere and, if I am being honest, I am not the tidiest person either.  I work hard to fit it in during the week, but alas, there is just so much that needs to be done.  While there is no official "plan" for the weekend, the struggle is real and I will continue to try to make it better.

Story of my life.

Have a great weekend, everyone! :)

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Linking up with Love Made My Home

Lordy Lou has it been a LOONNNGGG week.  But it's amazingly finally Friday, and I have survived.  I really don't know where to begin, there's just been SO MUCH.  So, we'll start with the good...

1.  I really needed a pick me up last weekend, so I let my hairdresser work her magic and now I have an adorable new "do".  I don't know what happened to me.  I got into a rut and have been stuck there for a couple years.  My hair was often the topic of conversations.  We had a on-going joke that once we started a new year, I would have new hair.  Each start of the school year I would show up with something new and different.  New style, new color, straight, curly, etc.  My philosophy was: "It's hair.  It'll grow back.  If I don't like it, next month I'll change it."  Until I got tired of it short.  Once it started to grow, that's when the rut began to form.  Well, I'm back to it being short and, while it's an adjustment, I'm loving it.  It's cute and sassy, two things that... quite honestly... I'm not really feeling right now.

2.  This week has been bad (that's coming next).  So, I did a little self medicating with this fabulous cheesecake.  It's just one of the little things (along with wine and chocolate) that has helped me cope.

I ate the whole thing.  No regrets.

The Bad....
3.  I have no words.  I almost didn't post today because, well, there haven't been many good days this week.  At all.  My husband's uncle passed away unexpectedly, so hubby went out of town to help deal with his possessions and pay his respects.  The day after the news of his uncle's death, I got a call saying my father's cousin had passed away after having a stroke.  63 years old, married with 3 kids - the youngest being 13.  And then, this morning I went into work to hear that a colleague passed away.  28 years old.  No details, just that she is gone.  All this and the anniversary of my best friend's death.  I am just wrung out.

4.  No more badness... Number 3 was enough.  

The Ugly....
5.  This week was a full moon (GORGEOUS moon!!), combine that with it being the week before Halloween and you have a whole lotta ugly.  I don't often mention my work world.  I NEVER talk about the kids I have in class, nor do I talk about the myriad of things that occur during the day that leave me shaking my head.  I am going to let go and say it out loud... THE CHILDREN HAVE LOST THEIR MINDS.       

Phew.  Thank you.  I needed that.  Next week will be better, right?  (Please don't mention this weekend's changing of the clocks or the upcoming sugar highs that will put my kindergartners into orbit for all of next week.  I know.  Sadly, I know.)

Here's hoping for a good weekend.  That break that I talked about last Friday?  Yeah, any time now would be great.

For anyone who is stopping by, looking for the happiness that Friday usually brings. 

I am sorry for being a downer :(