Bittersweet

Things move fast around here!  It's been quite the whirlwind.  For awhile, there didn't seem to be much happening.  Then, all the sudden, it was time to buckle up... the roller coaster ride was about to start!  The end of the school year always brings its own excitement and this year did not disappoint. My Bubba graduated (Praise Baby Jesus!)  There have been moments of doubt I would see the day, but it actually happened!  So proud of my boy!!  So, we have a little celebrating to do this summer over that tremendous accomplishment.  In other news, I had to move classrooms AGAIN so there was lots of packing to be done.  The school year ended last Friday and I walked out of there exhausted, but with a song in my heart.  It's DONE... done and dusted, packed and moved, Hasta La Vista until the Fall! 

All that and now I can focus on this...
My house has SOLD and I am in the process of buying another one.  The tentative closing date for both properties is August 15th.  I am overwhelmed with the "adulting" involved: phone calls, inspections, decisions, and packing.  ESPECIALLY the packing.  It's just crazy.  I *know* I have a lot of stuff, but wowzer, you really don't KNOW how much you have until you have to physically touch every item you own.  I just keep talking myself off the ledge.  I have PLENTY of time to do all of this yet, I just feel swamped.  I thought I was over "it", but apparently the process of saying good-bye to this house is dredging up more than I could have anticipated.  I have invested so much of myself into this place.  While I am proud of what I have done, it makes me sad.  The stuff ("our" stuff) that is here to be packed, the feelings of loss of what I thought we had, and the memories that go with it all are still tough to take.  That being said, I'm trying hard not to wallow; it's time.  This last little bit shuts the door on a huge piece of my life.  My kids are grown (although not quite independent yet), this house needs a new start with new life in it, and I need to look forward to new beginnings.  I can be strong for just a while longer.  I got this!

I'm Still Here

Hey!  It's been a long time!  It's been so long that I'm not sure where to start... So, let's just go with life in a nutshell.  It's good!  The last ten months (YIKES, TEN MONTHS!) have been a whirlwind of activity.  The good news is... the house is DONE and on the market to be sold.  So many projects, so much time and effort.  I wish I had had the effort to create a diary of all the work as it was being completed!  I'm going to try to do a recap.  I'll start with the outside...

Once I had joked about my yard being like an episode of Sandford and Son; unfortunately, I wasn't kidding.  It only took 3 hours to fill the 20 yard dumpster.  The amount of junk hanging around was UNBELIEVABLE!  It was such a relief to have all that stuff GONE!

Obviously, this is the shed.  All newly touched up (it had been painted the summer before, but the trim was never finished).  Later on in the cleanup process I found the shutters.  Those have since been painted and put back on where they belong (sorry... no current picture of that!)

These are the areas along my driveway.  Sadly neglected and in desperate need of sprucing up.  A friend of mine and I spent a very hot, long day planning out how to use some of the extra pavers and edging blocks that were just hanging around.

Finished area for trash bins

This is the other side of the driveway... Completely overgrown (left pic).  

All tidy and neat when finished (right pic).  It doesn't even look like the same space!

All mulched and planted!

Now...of course things need to be freshened up after the winter... it's not acting like spring around here yet, so I'm going to wait until the weather warms up (or NOT, if someone comes along and buys this place before Mother Nature gets her act together!)

So that's a little sample of what's been going on around here.  I'm hoping to share more... but no promises!  Until next time....

   

A "Quick" Catch Up

Huh?  It's been that long?  April was the last time I posted... to be honest I'm not surprised.  The struggle has been real over here, but I'm hoping things are going to start looking up.  Let's do a quick catch up...

The end of the school year is ALWAYS crazy and this year didn't disappoint on that front.  Glad to be away from work for a little while.  Things need to settle down there...sometimes teacher drama is WAY WORSE than kid drama.  Report cards were sent home wrong (just loving technology right now!), teachers were crazy, and I spent way too much time putting out fires, going to meetings, and on the phone with my boss.  On the plus side... I had a GREAT class this year and I am sad to see them move on to first grade.  I am hoping that the summer is going to provide a much needed break and that I am going to find some time to recharge!

So much time has passed, and yet so little, since my husband left.  I'm not going to lie, the months have been exhausting.  This week, we finally went to court to officially call it quits.  We sat side by side, making small talk; chatting about the kids and the struggles of getting our lives untangled.  Once our case was heard, we walked out to the parking lot together and simply got into our separate cars and drove away.  I guess that's it.  It's hard to find the words to say how I'm feeling.  I still don't know how we could have lost what we had, how it meant so little and wasn't worth fighting for.  Yesterday, I came across a Mother's Day card he had given me after our daughter was born.  His words haunt me and I could cry thinking about them.  His love for me, our family, our future...  It's a stark contrast to the letter I found from his mistress, the pictures he puts up on facebook, and where we are now.  This isn't where I'd ever thought we'd be, but it's time to start looking ahead and stop dwelling in the past.  I blocked him today on facebook.  I don't want to see into his life anymore.  It hurts and it's senseless since I'm only hurting myself.  So enough wallowing...

What's next?
Well, it's time to get serious about healthy eating and living.  I'm going to climb back on the weight loss wagon, yet again.  It's time.  I have consoled myself with food and drink for way too many months now.  Today, I took the first steps (literally!).  I walked 3 miles and made good choices for all three meals of the day.  Day 1... many more to go!

I guess I'm going to bite the bullet and get serious about working on this house.  Since this is the last summer we will be here (I'm planning to put it on the market next spring), I'd like to get as much done as possible while I have the time.  I have a contractor coming next month to do a couple of the big projects.... We'll see how much gets done!  I need a game plan, but it makes me tired just thinking about it!

 

That's about all for now.  Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!!

Being Reflective

The last couple months have been a *little* crazy.  I've been obsessed with getting things done and being all things to all people.  March was an insane burst of "let's do this".  My brother and I pushed hard to get my office together for Easter, and WE DID IT!  I love how it came out and while there are a few small things to complete, the bulk of the work is done!

Easter Day brought its own set of challenges.  Easter has been "our" holiday for the past few years.  Given that I don't usually cook, pulling off a day featuring approximately 40 friends and family members was a little daunting.  However, when it was all said and done... House was clean, I was not insane, everyone seemed to have a good time, and the food all came out good.  The day was a complete success :)

The last two weeks of April have been eye opening.  I haven't been frenetically trying to get any projects done and have been trying to take some time for myself.  Work always starts getting busy at this time of the year and it's hard to find a balance (not that I've had anything close to balance in a very long time!)  After Easter, I had a week off for spring break.  I spent time with friends, went shopping, fielded a few miscellaneous projects, and took some naps.  I tried a few new things and had lots of laughs.  I'm trying to live in the moment, let stuff go, and just take a step back from planning for and worrying about things I have no control over. 

Guess what?  It's nice.  Nicer than I thought it would be and certainly better than how life was going before.  I'm going to try to hold on to how I feel right now, today.  There are still things to be done, but not today and not tomorrow either.  Let it go... just be.

Staycation

Hey!  It's been awhile (I'd like to get to a point where I feel like I don't have to start my post like that!).  I'm linking up with Amy over at Love Made My Home to bring you this 5 on Friday.  I've been on "vacation" this week and have done "a little of this, and a little of that".  I'm taking advantage of my time off, trying to get things done before I return to work on Monday.

1.  Plans and projects... lots of stuff in the works.  I met with the man who is going to fix the ceilings in my kitchen and dining room.  He is scheduling me in for a time NEXT WEEK.  I am doing the happy dance!!  Fingers crossed that he does a fabulous job!  It would be nice if something finally went "right" with this money pit!

2.  It's been a gorgeous week here!  The snow is still around in patchy spots, but for the most part it's gone.  The melting snow sure revealed a big surprise as it slowly disappeared!

What is that, you may ask?  THAT is a granite "carriage block" that has been in the ground in front of my house for approximately 100 years (give or take a few).  A snowplow apparently hit it and now?  There it is.  It's never dull around here.  I called the city and surprisingly, they showed up the next day to take it away.  They even came back a couple days later to fill in the ginormous hole that was left behind.  I would love it if everything in my life could be so easily taken care of!

3.  In my continuing mission to get rid of everything clean up my life, I started dealing with the shed.  I've spent approximately 10 hours in there thus far; moving stuff around to reorganize and wanting to cry on more than one occasion.  Three contractors bags of garbage later? Yeah, all that would be considered a deck chair off the Queen Mary.  More to go, but the garbage bin can't hold anymore.  One interesting find?  This...

I have no idea where it came from and when I found it, I had no idea what it was.  Apparently, it's a sad iron heater.  Before electric flat irons, cast iron or "sad irons" were used ("sad" meant solid or heavy, in old English).  This little heater has a base to hold oil and a wick that would be lit to heat the iron.  I think it's cute... but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it!

4.  As I've been cleaning out, I came across some old magnetic albums in my attic.  Ugh.  The albums are not in good shape.  Many of the pictures are fused to the pages or have deteriorated due to the "magnetic" adhesive used to secure the pictures.  I've started pulling the albums apart so I can save some of the pictures in new albums.  What a big job!!  This project is going to take me awhile!!

5.  This week also involved going to the local DIY/Home Improvement store.  This girl is going to do things around this house that she has NEVER considered doing before.  My brother dropped off a mitre saw and a nail gun so I can do some work in the office.  Yikes!  Having never used either, I'm a "little" afraid, but I have time to work up to using them.  The wainscoting that I'm installing has to be stained and polyurethaned first.  The picture below shows boards waiting to be clear coated.  I am estimating that this is about a quarter of what I am going to need.  Good times, good times. 

Just the beginning!

So, there you have it.  My week thus far.  Who am I?  What is happening right now?  When can I go back to my real life?  These are the questions that I ask myself Every. Single. Day.  Ah, the learning curve is steep, but I CAN do all this.  Right?

I hope everyone has had a great week and is looking forward to a restful weekend.  

Enjoy whatever projects you have planned! 

  

Moving On?

Today, I took the day off.  That doesn't happen often around here.  I tried hard not to beat myself up over it.  I never just "am".  I am always doing something.  The past few months have been about doing something, anything in an attempt to avoid the obvious parts of my life.  When I am at work, I am working.  No down time, always busy.  When I home, I am cleaning, sorting. going through some aspect of this house to make things "easier" for when I can finally sell it.  The ugly truth is... I am crashing.  I've been running on fumes.

I tend to push myself to the limit so I can sleep at night.  I can be reflective, so I get it.  I recognize what I am doing.  If I keep busy, I feel like I am moving forward.  One step at a time.  Yet, I'm not.  I'm stuck.  It's like being a hamster on a wheel... running, running, running, yet not really moving or getting anywhere.  When I finish one task, it's on to the next.  I don't celebrate the "accomplishment", I check it off the list in my head and immediately roll on to what's next. 

I resent what this house stands for.  I don't want to do it anymore.  It's exhausting.  The emotional turmoil sucks the life out of me.  I'm getting over the "it's not fair".  It is what it is.  What I am struggling with is dragging myself through the past to get ready for a hopefully brighter future.  Spending money that I'd like to save for the future to fix things that should have been done long ago, weeding through things that represent a place and time that no longer exists, and making decisions based on what needs to just get done, rather than the dream of what "home" looked like in my mind.  

I don't know how to change what is going on here.  Today, I gave up.  I stayed in my pajamas until three o'clock, read a smutty book, napped, and met up with my parents for dinner.  If I can manage it, I may end the night with a bath, a glass of wine, and another trashy book.  Now, I'm tired.  Just tired.  I'd like to say I want my "old life" back.  But no, that's not right.  I don't want to settle for a life half lived, I've done that for way too long.  It's going to get better.  I am okay.  Breathe.   

Sometimes I feel like I am hanging on by a thread.  This is not the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's damn close.

Hello, 2017!

Have you ever done this before?  Chosen one word to focus on for an entire year?  I've been kicking around resolutions and I have to say, for me right now, focusing on the negative is the last thing I want to do.  In the past, my resolutions have been lists of things identified as needing change, areas I struggle with, or things needing to be "fixed" because I am falling short in some way.  Then, at the end of the year, I look back, shake my head at all that unfinished, unaccomplished business and resolve to "do better next year".  At this time of so many new beginnings, I am shifting my perspective.    

A while back, my yoga instructor read a passage that resonated with me..

  "How dare you not step into the world with purpose?   

How dare you not live up to your potential?" 

 (Tiffany Cruikshank, Meditate Your Weight)  

I love this quote!  To me, it speaks to recognizing inner qualities and what a person has to offer and I love the challenge that it holds.  This year, I want to start the year on a positive note.  After much deliberation (there are SO MANY awesome words out there!), the word I am choosing is something I can reflect and fall back on.  It has meaning and can interweave through the many aspects of my life.  It is a word that sums up how I am feeling, right at this moment.  I want to hold on to that feeling, nurture it, and use it as momentum.  I  want to celebrate it as I move through the year and make things happen.  Hmmm... all this wrapped into one word?  Is that even possible?  Not just possible, I think it's totally doable!  So, here it is... my focus for this year.  

               How about you?  Are you setting goals, making a plan, tying your ideas to one word?  

Or are you resolving to just let the year unfold?

Goodbye (and Good Riddance) 2016

Here it is, the last day of 2016.  I won't lie, this year has been a suckfest.  It's been so long since I posted anything because I've started and stopped so many times, never really knowing what to say.  I still don't know what to say.  I couldn't bring myself to create a blog-land illusion of sunshine and light and yet, I didn't want to turn this space into a daily downward spiral of misery.  So, I'm taking the plunge... I need start moving past what has happened this year.  I need some semblance of a "new normal" that is positive, peaceful, and balanced.  Things are still unfolding and I'm sure there will be many more highs and lows, but I'm putting this out there with the anticipation it will break the writer's block I have imposed upon myself.     

The good... I am going to be okay.  I have great kids, a great family, and great friends.  While the future is a little uncertain right now, I AM going to be fine.  While the future isn't what I envisioned, I am going to make the best of it.  Moving forward, accomplishing goals, and doing what's best for me and my kids are things on the bucket list for 2017.

The bad... My husband and I have been together for 30 years.  While things have been a little sketchy for a while now, I had hoped, in my heart of hearts, that we could work our way back to each other.  Apparently, that is not going to happen.  He has found his soulmate and they are now very happy together.  No discretion, no apology, he has just walked away without looking back.  How nice for him.  How nice for them.  Ouch.

The ugly... I am left holding the bag with what's left of our combined lives in it.  This house?  Ugh.  He gave up on our life together long ago.  There are things needing to be done: decisions to be made, projects to be finished, things to be gone through, and financial matters to tend to.  I have often "joked" that I was unsure of whether to be insulted or relieved that he had such low standards.  My yard looks like an episode of Sanford and Sons.  The shed?  Good Lord.  I have no words.  My house is full of unfinished projects that need to be addressed.  I have been cleaning and repairing for the past four months, and yet I haven't even scratched the surface.  Baby steps.  All the decisions can be overwhelming, but it will all get done.  Or it won't.  Either way, the house will be sold within the next year and a half (hopefully hanging on until Bubba graduates from high school).

So, there it is.  Lots of changes and more to come.  That "new normal"?  Still a work in progress, but I will get there.  I am determined.           

 

Poo-2-Do (An August Bucket List)

I always start to panic at this point in the summer.  How can it already be the beginning of August??  I have many miles to go before I go back to work.  I feel like, while I have been productive and have made the most of my time off, there are still so many things that I need to accomplish.  Summer is my time to get "big things" done.  Those "big things" don't necessarily have to be time consuming or terribly significant, they are things that just get pushed to the back burner when my life is consumed by school.  So... I have 23 days until I go back, just a little over three weeks.  Let's get a plan!!

Home
1) Meet with a contractor and get some of the house stuff off my plate and onto the plate of someone who can actually complete the projects.  Goals: foyer, dining room ceiling, and bathroom.  Fingers crossed!
2) Upholster window seat
3) Paint the kitchen

Crafts
1) Frame (and hang!) finished cross stitch project
2) Do a "day-a-week" on my newly started 12 Days of Christmas sampler

Family
1) Parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary (shopping, food prep, cake, and more!)
2) Get Girlie ready to move back to the dorm

School
1) Set up my classroom
2) Organize science materials
3) Shop for various back-to-school things that are needed
4) Finish organizing library center
5) Figure out the new schedule and set up planbook

I think that's it!  There are still appointments to be kept and plans with friends to work around, but there it all is in a nutshell.  23 days, huh?.... 

Ready? Set? Go....

Five On Friday

Hello, All!  Happy Friday (Again)!  I'm linking up with Amy for the last Five on Friday until September.  I guess that means I'm going to have to make a HUGE effort to post next month (maybe I should set some goals for August?!).  This link up motivates me... even if I don't post during the week, I try really hard to get one done for Friday.  We'll see what next month brings.  I may have actually have things to chat about.  Lots of plans in the works!  Here's my week in review...

1)  Finally spent the whole day at the beach with friends.  Ah... there's nothing better than hanging out, chatting, toes in the sand, watching the kids play in the water, and just soaking up the sun.  Beautifully lazy day with nowhere to be and nothing else to do be enjoy the moments.

Nothing cuter than babies at the beach :)

2)  I've been plugging along on my "quick" cross stitch project.  It really should be done by now, but it's getting there.  I'm making it for my "new" classroom (and really to give myself something to do as I wait for my kids through the seemingly endless doctor, dentist, and other miscellaneous appointments/activities we have throughout the summer.) 

Not much more to do

3)  I finished another book this week...

It was interesting, it held my attention, and I liked how all the various story lines entwined at the end of the book.  A friend also recommended another book by Kimberly McCreight... Reconstructing Amelia.  Looks like another visit to the library is in my future.

4)  Adulting... Ugh.  Every once in a while, I try to get my act together.  This week was packed with things I have been ignoring putting off for far too long.  Home refinancing, comparing insurance quotes, student loan options... Who made me in charge of all this???  One of the "biggies" this week... I bit the bullet and contacted a contractor to give us a quote on some renovation work I'd like to have done.  I am excited about just the possibility of getting a major project off the things-to-do list!

5) Logically, I KNOW that there is still time.  I really am trying to not stress out but the reality is.... summer is ending.  Not summer exactly, but the "vacation" aspect is mostly done.  I met with my new principal this week.  I went to work to introduce myself (and maybe get a glimpse of my room).  She's lovely, but my room?  I have an anxiety attack whenever I think about it.  It's not good.  I'm going in next week to start getting things sorted out... Wish me luck!!  Until then, I'm going to...

Keep Calm and Think about the Beach :)

 Have a wonderful weekend!!

Happy Snow Day!

Linking up with with Amy, over at Love Made My Home.  Today's post made possible by.... A Snow Day!

1.  A break, today is a break!  I have not been productive, but here's hoping at some point today, I will not have wasted this opportunity!  I LOVE me a snow day.  I don't care that we have to "make it up".  I don't care that TODAY is theoretically the first day of "summer vacation".  I don't care that I am "stuck" at home (That is actually fabulous!).  There is joy in my heart, it is afternoon, and I am still in my jammies :)

2.  These past weeks have been stressful.  One by one, big things are getting done though.  This week, I was observed by my principal for my evaluation and I have been a wreck!  I love my principal, but I have never been "formally" observed by him and wasn't sure what to expect.  When the process is completed, there is an email notification saying the evaluation has been submitted (everything is done electronically!)  I didn't open it for 2 days.  I couldn't face it.  I finally looked yesterday and was SO relieved. I got a fantastic review and feel like (some of ) the weight of the world is off my shoulders. 

3.  More good news... My Girlie made Dean's List her first semester of college!  I am a very proud momma.  Now if we could just get the concepts of fiscal responsibility down.....

4.  Yoga update... I LOVE the yoga class I am doing now!  The first two classes we took were "forrest yoga" (apparently there are different styles?  Yes, of course.  I just didn't really think too deeply into this whole thing).  I enjoyed the first class, but the second class? No.  Probably had something to do with the teacher, he was a bit jerky.  So, we signed up for "Power Yoga", figuring if we embarrassed ourselves too terribly, we wouldn't go back. Great instructor, heated room, challenging but not overwhelming, followed by dinner out with my friend = A Fabulous Time :)  It is a welcomed break in the middle of the week.

5.  Weight loss update.... Slowly, but steadily I am moving down the scale once more.  I lost about 9lbs in January.  Looking to lose another 9 or so.  It's not easy, but it IS doable.  Would like to commit to using the dreadmill again, but I just haven't found it within myself to make it happen.  It's there, looming, trying to lure me in.  Soon.  "Soon".   

  Happy Friday, Everyone!  Have a GREAT weekend!

   

New Beginnings...

Happy New Year, Everyone!  It seems like New Year's Eve was so lonnnng ago.... and Christmas?  Just a memory.  It's been a crazy start to this year because... well, life.  I'm hooking up with Amy, over at Love Made My Home for my five on Friday.  This just about sums up life right now...

1.  Stressed:  I have *committed* to a Huge project regarding work.  I am taking the plunge and doing National Board certification (Theoretically.  I need to complete the application process).  I'm also being evaluated in a few weeks, so I am up to my eyeballs in paperwork.  Between those two major things and the added attraction of committee work, I may not be back here until April. *sigh*

 2.  Excited:  Downton Abbey is back!!  Yay!  It's bittersweet because it's the last season, but I was so glad to curl up with a nice mug of tea to watch the season premier on Sunday night.  It was like seeing old friends again.  Right now, Downton is literally the only show I watch.  I love having a scheduled "break" the night before I go back to work.  It's such a nice way to end the weekend :)

3.  Reflective:  I was checking out my 50 By 50 list to see if I even came CLOSE to the 15 things done resolution I made last year. Nope.  I guess that means I'm going to have try harder this year.  I'm taking it as a sign that I wasn't paying enough attention to the things I feel are important.  Some of those things are career goals (Not Many!), some are projects that have been kicking around for years and just need to be done, but most are things I WANT to do and I should be prioritizing.  Life should be about more than working.

4.  Interested:  In response to being reflective and stressed, I actually broadened my horizons a little this week.  My friend and I signed up for a Yoga class.  I really liked it... for a couple reasons.  It was great to live in the moment for an hour and fifteen minutes.  Just having to focus on one thing, without distraction or even the possibility of a distraction, for that amount of time was actually soothing.  It's hard for me to tune out life.  There is ALWAYS so much to do.  Even when I am working on something that should get done, my mind is spinning off, rolling down other paths to think about what I will do next.  It was great to just "be".  Secondly, it was challenging!  I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, physically fit.  I'm not gonna lie... I was hurting for a few days after.  There are apparently MANY muscles in my body that have not been utilized in a long time.  I loved feeling like I accomplished something positive.  I didn't expect to feel like I had "worked out".  We liked it so much, we are going again next week! :)

5.  Determined: This Monday was my first weekly weigh in at Weight Watchers.  UP 1.6?? Really?!  I was (mostly) good.  New Year's and an additional Christmas Celebration with a friend did me in (I think!).  I am slightly mentally ill when it comes to dieting.  When I am in the mode, I am a tad bit obsessive.  It takes over my life.  Did I stay within my points?  Did I get my steps in?  How can I do better tomorrow?  Can I exercise? Can I excersise more?  I typically weigh in Every. Single. Day.  I just can't; I don't have all that in me right now.  So, this time I am trying to convince myself that this is a lifestyle change.  While I am aiming for weight loss, I'd like to be able to take the tools I know work for me and make them a part of a routine that can sustain itself beyond the scale.  Does that make sense?  Monday is another weigh in day... wish me luck!

 Have a wonderful weekend...

A Whine Fest

So, you know how you feel when you have to do something significant in your life and you just don't want to?  That's where I am right now.  If you know anything about National Board Certification for teachers, you realize it's a pretty big deal (or it can be, depending on how you are compensated for having it).  I've been board certified for almost ten years and it has been worth it.  (Although, a friend who went through the initial certification with me has reminded me I did say back then that I would NEVER do it again). That certification is going to expire and it is time for me to renew.  I can do it this year OR I can do it next year.  Doing it this year gives me the opportunity to retry next year if I don't succeed the first time around.  That, and it could possibly be off my plate after this year and I can stop obsessing about it.

Let me say... It's torture.  I am not having a good time.  I am dragging my feet and whining regularly to anyone who will listen (thank you for listening, if you have made it this far in to this post).  I just have to put it out there... I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.  It's too hard.  I don't have the time.  I haven't done anything worth talking about in the last eight years since my initial certification.  I don't want to think about my professional practices and how I have grown and developed as a teacher.  I hate being videoed; I don't want to do that either.  It's too much work.  I'm not smart enough.  Blah, blah, blah.  I'm basically being a big baby.  

It's coming down to the final decision; the deadline for the application payment is looming.  It IS hard work and a big time commitment.  Being a list maker, I've weighed the options... the pros (long term) outweigh the cons (short term).  I've gone back and forth with the decision... after all I do still have a year.  BUT, is it going to be any less sucky next year?  Am I going to be in a better place?  More motivated?  Less stressed?  Probably not.  I've even promised myself this will be the last time (even though I will still be teaching when the renewed certification expires).  I need to find the motivation to Just. Do. It.         

I've talked myself all around the issue and I guess the bottom line is this...

 Thanks for listening.  I just needed to say all that "out loud". 

And Again.

Here we go again.  For the past couple months I have been watching the weight creep back on.  I have toyed with the idea of starting Weight Watchers again.  But, ugh.  Really? Again?  Get your act together, girl.  I have the app to track the points (haven't used it).  I know what to do (not a big secret...let's not eat and drink everything in sight, Every. Single. Day.)  I think my biggest frustration with myself is... If I actually do the program?  IT WORKS and yet, still no.  Until yesterday.  I decided I would hop back in the saddle again.  It's time.  So, y'all know what happened ....

I went back to WW last night.  (The program changed again, did you know that??)  I actually committed myself to 3 months.  I am *hoping* it will motivate me to go to the meetings.  I'd like to get back into the clothes I bought at this time last year.  25 pounds to lose.  I apparently have had a good time for myself.

And so it begins.

Celebrating the Season

Linking up with Love Made My Home

 ONE week??  How can that be?  I'm ready.  Just kidding, no I'm not.  These past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  Work is crazy... After Thanksgiving?  When that first tree goes up?  Yup, it's all over in kindergarten.  Ready or not, the celebration begins!  So, what have I been doing to celebrate the season... Let's see....

1)  I went to see Straight No Chaser.... I LOVED IT!!  If you haven't had the opportunity to check these guys out, you must!  What a great show.  I am a fool for a cappella and this show was so worth the time and money (7:30 show on a Tuesday night?  A school night?  Yikes, living on the edge!).  My favorite songs?  The 12 Days of Christmas.  Makes me smile Every. Single. Time.  And, Oh Holy Night?  Just beautiful. 

Picture/Link brings you to 12 Days of Christmas... You're Welcome :)

2)  This year we bought a new tree.  It's smaller than any tree we've had in the past.  We've gone from a 9 foot tree down to a 6 and half foot tree.  The bigger tree was just getting to be too much.  With downsizing, there came a dilemma.  There was just no way to put all the ornaments that we have on a smaller tree.  Sorting through the ornaments to only use those most meaningful was somewhat bittersweet.  So many good memories.

Sentimental.  My bff is no longer with us.

Silly.  Makes me giggle.

From my childhood.  It will always remind me of "home".

3)  Paying it forward... Last year I started what I hope to be an annual tradition.  I am a little late posting this wrap up, but I was a little late starting it too.  November is considered a month to be thankful.  I have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  Over the last four weeks, I have donated to four charities that support goals that I believe wholeheartedly in.  It is my way of being thankful for what I have and hopefully helping someone else out during a time of year that is typically challenging for some both financially and emotionally. 

4)  I love the holiday glitz and glitter.  This is a picture of a house in my neighborhood.  The tree has been dubbed "The Tree to See".  I just love it.  It makes me smile :) 

That house is not small!  The 40' tree just dwarfs it in all its glory!

 5)  What would a post be without some kind of yummy treat?  This holiday season would certainly not be complete without cookies.  I often joke that I am "keeper of the flame" in my family.  Tradition is important; THINGS can be important when they evoke special memories.  Peanut butter and jelly cookies (my husband's declared favorite), peanut butter blossoms, spritz cookies, and Russian tea cakes (or snowballs, as they are also known as) are all an anticipated part of the festivities.  As of right now, I am the only one in my generation who makes the spritz cookies (which, in my opinion are the easiest!)  I hope that changes eventually; I'd like to be able to pass the recipe (and cookie press) on someday!  Anywho, here is my tribute to cookies....

Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies

Peanut Butter Blossoms

Spritz

Yummy Snowballs

Hope everyone is finding a little bit of sanity with all the hustle and bustle the holidays bring!